By Sulaymon Ruqoya
August 26th, 2024
Nollywood actress Kemi Lala Akindoju has sparked a debate about the long-standing tradition of women changing their surnames after marriage. She advocates for couples to merge their surnames instead, questioning the fairness of the expectation that women adopt their husbands’ last names.
On August 25, 2024, Akindoju took to X to express her thoughts on this societal norm. She wrote, “Honestly, if we really want to follow ‘2 shall become 1,’ the couple should merge both surnames. I still question the children automatically coming from the man’s state of origin, his surname, and the fact that the man ‘owns’ the child. The whole thing messes with my head so much.”
Akindoju also raised concerns about the lack of recognition for a woman’s role in childbirth within this tradition, pointing out that she has yet to find any scriptural support for it. “Yet it’s the woman who physically goes through a life-transforming process to birth the children. Yet, she’s relegated. I may not have the answers, but it troubles my entire being and I am yet to find the scripture that says the woman must take the man’s name,” she added.
The actress further criticized the societal upbringing of children, noting an imbalance in how boys and girls are prepared for marriage. She highlighted that boys are rarely raised with the expectation that they might have to change their identity, while girls are often socialized to anticipate a new name and identity after marriage.
She emphasized that women should have the autonomy to decide whether to keep their maiden name, change it, or use a combination of both.”Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know). Most importantly, a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it. It’s sha somehow that boys are never raised to think their identity will change,” Akindoju continued.
Concluding her thoughts, Akindoju questioned why women are conditioned from a young age to expect a change in their identity due to marriage, while men are not. “But just because of a woman’s gender, she’s raised/socialized to know that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with a name and identity she’s known all her life. I don’t have the answers, but I strongly question this practice,” she wrote.